Thinking about thoughts
Your Mind Is a Garden: What Are You Growing?
I introduced an idea in some of my children’s coaching sessions recently — a simple idea, but a surprisingly powerful one: your mind is like a garden, and your thoughts are the seeds.
Some seeds grow beautiful things — calm, courage, self-kindness. Others… not so much. The “what-if” weeds, the “I’m-not-good-enough” creepers, and those pesky brambles of self-judgment.
We talked about how we get to choose what we water. That it’s not about pretending negative thoughts don’t exist — it’s about gently noticing them, and then deciding not to feed them. No drama. No inner shouting. Just awareness and choice.
It sparked brilliant conversations, especially among some of the neurodivergent children I work with, including those with ADHD. Many of them feel like their thoughts race or spiral before they even notice. Giving them a metaphor — something visual and simple — gave them a way to name what was happening and feel more in control.
Working with this topic, I realised I hadn’t been watching my own garden all that closely lately. I’d been watering a few weeds without meaning to — stressy stories, small self-doubt whispers — and as we all know, those weeds grow fast when you’re not paying attention.
So I’ve been taking my own advice. Each morning, just a quiet check-in:
What thoughts am I watering today?
What would I love to grow instead?
And it’s changing things. Not overnight. But gradually, gently. Like a garden should.
With your child
If you’d like to try this at home with your child — whether they’re a deep thinker, an anxious overachiever, or a brilliantly busy ADHD mind — it doesn’t need to be complicated.
Draw a patch of soil. Ask:
“What’s a thought you’ve had today that felt like a weed?”
“What would you rather grow?”
“What would happen if we watered that instead?”
Let them be playful or serious. Some children might say “maths is too hard” is a weed. Others might share a thought like “no one likes me.” Let whatever comes up, come up. Then get curious together. This is a gentle way to build emotional awareness and self-regulation — without lectures or pressure.
A final thought
In my coaching practice — whether I’m supporting children, teenagers, or adults — I often return to the basics: thoughts matter. And how we relate to our thoughts matters even more.
Whether you’re parenting a child with ADHD or simply trying to be kinder to your own brain, remember: you can’t stop every weed from growing. But you can decide which ones get the water.
Here’s to gentler gardens — and growing something good.
